Solstice

 

 

on December twenty-third

the weatherman said

we've passed the winter solstice

today we gain

one minute of daylight

 

just one minute of daylight

I thought

what can I do with a minute of light?

 

hug my husband

share a kiss

say a prayer

pay a bill

 

standing at my kitchen window

watch snowflakes big as daisies fall

while robins forage

in the holly bushes

 

savor chocolate

steep a cup of tea

peel a clementine

breathe its sunny scent

 

or sit

eyes closed

hands open

breathe slowly, deeply

find my place

feeling life move through

a minute of light

and me

 

                                                                                    E.B.G.

 

Receiving

I recently received an email from my oldest sister (there are six of us) in which she proposed that we all stop exchanging Christmas gifts.  The message suggests that most of us have all we need and there is an implication that some of the gifts given have not been valued which magnifies the stress of finding presents at the holidays. I felt a reluctance to give up gift giving because Christmas gift exchange is one of our only remaining points of contact since our parents passed on. The whole episode started me thinking about what it means to give and to receive. I wondered what it meant that we were going down this road as a family even as I know so many families do.

I decided to reflect on it and as I did a poignant memory returned to me - a moment between my father and I from many years ago.  At the time, I was a single parent and earned my living as a private school teacher; for me, Christmas present shopping was always a case of creatively stretching a dollar.  This particular year, I was a tad short and had not yet figured out a gift for my dad.  Then I remembered that just that summer I had worked a summer job and indulged in a small extravagance for myself - the purchase of a watch. The watch had a faux ostrich watchband and a retro, military style, face.  I recalled how much my dad had admired it when I visited with him in August.  I still had the original watchcase and had barely worn the watch itself. I decided to tell Dad that I got him his own for Christmas as he had so liked it.

I don’t know why it isn’t until now that I realize that my dad ‘knew’ I had given him my own watch that Christmas.  What I do know is that he treasured it. He wore it till the band broke and then bought a new band which he showed to me; when the battery failed, he wrote to the company and secured a new battery letting me know it was still working; and, at each phase of his ownership he would share his appreciation of the watch by demonstrating that it was still working and reiterating that it was a great watch. 

Remembering all of this, I cry as I hold anew the beautiful gift my father gave to me in receiving that watch, ‘knowing all along’where it had come from both literally and figuratively. His authentic gratitude encompassed the meaning behind my meager gift, and imbued the watch with a reverence that respected what I lovingly tried to do more than the actual watch.

I think through the grace of this memory, my dad offers me a view of his soul’s complexion and he reminds me what it means to lovingly receive. Clearly, my siblings and I need to learn how to authentically share our gifts with each other.

And so, as I live into the ‘no Christmas gifts’ proposal, I shall endeavor to remember how little physical gifts really mean.  I shall value instead how much more vital it is to receive each other with compassion, open minds and open hearts – to offer the gift of accepting and loving each other.  And I shall hope that my own soul’s complexion will lovingly illuminate with the joy of receiving and appreciating in the deepest and most authentic ways the many gifts in my life.      Tory Londergan

A Reflection on A Morning with Joan Chittister and Janet McKenzie

“The stations give us a model of how to live life when our own struggles are unavoidable and life seems most oppressive, most unfair, most impossible to bear. They remind us again that there is new life at the end of every daily death.”

(pg. 13, Chittister, Joan. The Way of The Cross: The Path to New Life. Orbis Books. Maryknoll, NY. 2013)

In the fall of 2013, I participated in an on-line course called “The Blessings of Ageing,” the centerpiece of which were daily short video messages from Sister Joan Chittister. These videos led the way through the many facets of ageing and inspired participants to reflect on ageing in a more comprehensive way. The course was helpful, engaging, and appropriate for a time when so many of us Boomers are entering our “wisdom years” and looking for signposts. The content was meaningful but the real star of the course was Chittister, a Benedictine Sister, international lecturer and award-winning author of more than 50 books who is devoted to the issues of justice, peace and equality, especially for women in the Church and in Society. Few people live up to their hype, but Sr. Joan does that and more. She has a way of touching some deep part of you that was hiding and waiting for the right moment to be released and come into the light. By the end of the course I felt I knew her – as a friend, an advisor, and a fellow traveler, so when I heard that Sacred Threads was sponsoring a morning with her, I couldn’t wait to see her in person. I knew it would be a memorable experience but it was far more than that; it was literally transformative.

As a Catholic, I was raised with The Stations of the Cross and I admit, I wasn’t all that excited by the topic of this seminar, “The Way of the Cross: In and Out of Our Lives,” but I knew if anyone could change my thinking about it, it would be Sister Joan. And of course she did, and in the most glorious ways. My memories of the Stations were somber and depressing. Jesus’s message of love and forgiveness was met not with praise, but a crown of thorns, mockery, being forced to drag a cross, and being nailed to the cross and crucified in a horrific way, so to me, going through the stations was anything but an uplifting experience. But this is exactly the kind of topic Sr. Joan addresses and works her magic to help us see how the Stations are actually a perfect metaphor for each of our journeys through life; rather than being disheartening, she shows us how they give us hope and help us to make meaning out of all of life’s experiences and challenges.

Sr. Joan has a way of speaking to an audience of five hundred but making you feel as if you are the only one in the room and she is conversing directly with you. When she explains that the Way of the Cross is an invitation to human growth that teaches us what it is to be alive, you not only believe her, you know in your deepest heart she is right and she is speaking YOUR truth to you. She reminded me, and all of the attendees, that pain and human struggle are necessary elements to growth and building a life of meaning, and she explains that all in a simple yet powerful model as she takes us through each of the Stations. She explains “The Experience” of each Station and puts that experience in context, then “The Call” of each Station, which is the message Jesus sends us about that experience. Next is “The Model” that this Station presents for us to learn from, The Rising” which helps us to find the resurrection at each stage of the Way and leaves us with “the Question” which we must ask ourselves as a result of experiencing this Station.

For example, in Station 3, Jesus Falls The First Time, Sr. Joan explains that the “Experience” here relates to our own lives when “all pretense ends. Reality sets in.”(32) for we all fall many times whether it is the loss of a job, a mate, a poor investment, and we are forced to face the reality of our lives. In “The Call,” she explains that this Station tells us when we “fall” we can “finally begin to determine what is really important in life.”(32) While not an easy time, it is essential for us to ask ourselves the questions whose answers will guide us to our personal true meaning of success and what others/the world/society see as success may actually be failure for us. Next she explores “The Model” and reminds us that the third Station shows us “success often looks like failure” (34) and that floundering and faltering are an essential part of our process of becoming. Jesus fell down, but he didn’t stay down; rather he showed us that “the important things in life are worth struggling for to the end.” (35) “The Rising” or Resurrection of this Station advises us to find a moment, issue, reason, purpose important enough to give our lives over to achieve because there is work yet to be done. It is a time of recommitment, legacy, and ensuring what we are doing now will not be forgotten. She states, “To accept reality as it is . . .is the only thing that can enlarge our stature and will not diminish us as we go.” (35) Lastly, she leaves us with “The Question,” “Why am I doing what I am doing? Is the struggle of my life worth enough to struggle for it to the end?” (35)

I am a visual learner and have always been deeply influenced by the power that images add to any story or experience. The power of Sister Joan’s words would have been enough to transform my view of the Stations of the Cross but added to them, the artwork of Janet McKenzie for each Station reached deep into our hearts and made us understand that we could not ignore the eternal wisdom that is present in each of the Stations. McKenzie’s paintings are breathtaking and the combination of her images and Sr. Joan’s words forever changed my perspective on the Stations. Of her work, McKenzie says that “sacred imagery was always in my heart,” and after asking God to give her work better service, she found it in painting these profound, sacred images, which now reside in our hearts as well.

McKenzie asked us to “dig deep and bring hope to a fragile world” and with each Station, Sr. Joan gives us powerful life questions to ask ourselves and “by which to measure our own lives, the focus of our souls, and the commitment to our spiritualties.” The wisdom and guidance in each of the fifteen Stations (yes 15, Chittister adds The Resurrection as Station 15) is truly a master plan for living a life of meaning and service. It helps us to identify the “masks” we wear, and have the courage to remove them. It helps us open our arms, let go of everything we thought we wanted and see that the daily deaths of life are the gateways to new directions. As a result of being part of this experience, I will face each day’s challenges and “daily deaths” with a renewed sense of hope and meaning and I will continue to ask myself the questions of The Way so that “the struggle of my life is worth enough to struggle to the end.” Yes, indeed, this experience was more than memorable; it has transformed forever my thinking about The Stations of the Cross and about life, in ways I never expected and ways I have yet to know.

-Pamela Woodnick

Something To Think About While The Turkey’s In the Oven

  

            “Whenever you tell me about someone, you tell me what they cook!” My then-new roommate’s exasperated tone clearly suggested that this was not a good thing.  It was the 1970s, and women were supposed to be getting out of the kitchen! Our friendship didn’t last, but I still remember her words. Without meaning to, she pointed me toward what’s really going on in the kitchen.

            My personal company of saints gathers around me when I cook. I think of Jean when I pull the fat white cookbook off the shelf. I remember Steve when I grind oregano between my palms, and Joe when I push the pot of red sauce to the back of the stove until suppertime.  Apple muffins remind me of Madeleine, and breaking eggs of Margaret, who could scramble two or two dozen with equal aplomb.

            As surely as they guided me from Skidrow Stroganoff to Roast Turkey With All The Trimmings, my kitchen friends have taught me deeper lessons. Trying new things leads to some successes, some failures, and always a story to tell.  Taking care with the littlest things can make the biggest differences. There is always enough to share and room for one more. Food for the body also comforts and sustains the soul. Cleaning up after yourself is part of the process.

            Not a few Thanksgiving sermons will mention the religious significance of gathering around a common table and sharing a meal. But before sitting down, look around your kitchen.  Among the utensils, pots and memories, very good things are happening. Wisdom and grace are found there.

BJ Brown

November, 2014

The Edge

           I realized this past week that I have never lived at subsistence level.  I know what it means now.

            As part of Family Services Coalition, a group of churches and non-profits in the Metrowest area, I  tutor a young mother in English twice a week.  She is homeless, lives in one room at an old motel with her four-month-old baby girl. Massachusetts is a "right-to-shelter" state, unlike many others, so homeless families do not have to live on the streets.  They have a room paid for by the state, some food stamps plus occasional access to a food pantry, and some aid from a state agency for women, infants, and children (WIC).  My student has a dorm refrigerator and microwave in her room, some clothes for her and her child, and a donated baby carriage that makes it possible for her to walk to stores, the bus station, and sometimes just to be out of her room and enjoy the weather. 

            On one of the Indian Summer days we had recently, she was out getting groceries and baby formula.  She stopped at a clothing store in a strip mall and used a fitting room to change her daughter's diaper and put her in lighter clothes.  Then she headed for the nearby "big box" store where she knew formula was cheapest.  When she realized she'd left her tote bag in the fitting room, she hurried back.  The bag was at the cashier's station, everything of any value stolen from it. Food stamps, a grocery store gift card for $25, her hard-to-get WIC ID card, and $100 in cash, all gone.  Mid-month, nothing coming in for more than two weeks.

 

            The following day when she told me about the theft, I could see the fear in her eyes.  "I so sad, I no sleep the night,"  she said.  "The baby----she feel how I feel, she so sad, no sleep."  Once again, she had been reduced to nothing.

            After class I okayed  the expenditure with our Coalition chairwoman, then bought three cans of Enfamil and another grocery gift card and left them for her at the motel desk.  When she called that night to thank me, her voice broke and she started to cry.  I was across town, too far away to put my arms around her.

            E. B. G.

Secret Threads

What if we thought of women

as the secret threads of this world?

 

We are, after all, no further ahead

of war, and are behind the notion

 

That hearts and minds can be won over.

We are, after all, the threads

 

Which birth and nurture soldiers in this world.

We are, after all, the threads

 

Which nurture peacemakers in this world.

What if we thought of women

 

As the secret threads of this world?

Secret threads, that when brought together

 

To say enough is enough to human violence,

women would create a blanket of safety

 

And comfort, nourishment, and a sense of being home.

Oh, to nurture such a question!

 

From Above and Below by C. A. Willett

 

 

On Balancing our Many Lives

Although we don’t all live in the public eye, I think we all have private and public lives, even many different lives that we show to different publics. There’s the ‘game face’ shown at work. There’s the life shared to different degrees with outer and inner circles of neighbors and friends. There’s the many roles we play in families: child, sibling, spouse, parent, grandparent, to name but a few.

 

 

Distance and tension easily creep in between our public and private selves. We edit the life we display on social media. We may hide aspects of our lives from a difficult employer or member of the family. The face we acknowledge in the mirror may not even be our most private self, if we cannot accept ourselves, warts and all.

 

 

Balancing our many lives can feel like a circus act, like a juggler racing to keep all the plates spinning or all the balls in the air. More helpful, I think, is the metaphor of harmony, among colors in a painting or notes in a piece of music. The challenge of harmony is not to accept some of my lives and reject others, but to find a place for all, however bold, shadowy, discordant or clear.

 

 

 

BJ Brown

October, 2014

3 Awesome Quotes About Living with Integrity

by Rebecca Krzmarzick

 

 

This past Saturday, Sacred Threads hosted the first part of our Speaker Series: “Living with Integrity: Balancing the Private and Public Dimensions of Our Lives.” As an intern this year with Sacred Threads, I had the joy of attending, and I'm so glad I did!

The event featured three incredible speakers:

·         Sr. Janet Eisner, SND, the Nation’s Longest Serving Woman College President

·         Lisa Hughes, Emmy Award Winning Journalist and News Anchor

·         Marian Ryan, the District Attorney of Middlesex County (and only female DA in Massachusetts)

These three women spoke eloquently about the joys and challenges of balancing the private and public dimensions of life. They spoke about the importance of being your beautiful and authentic self, and the spirituality that enables that.

Here are my three favorite quotes from the day:

 

“I became far less afraid to show a little vulnerability. And let’s face it- that is what connects us to people. When someone reveals that part of herself to you, that’s what makes you feel connected. Although it feels a little risky, and it comes back to that slight fear of judgment. I feel like that’s part of  what it means to be authentic and to honor that sense of spirituality that calls you to just be yourself and know that that is enough.”

-Lisa Hughes

 

“Having that real sense of yourself is what makes the difference. It’s having that ability, which I think we’ve all lost to some extent... It’s important to know who you are and not be uncertain about expressing who that is.”

-Marian Ryan

“God’s goodness and love embrace us, and it happens to all of us. So right now, this is my mantra: ‘Let me know how much you love me and how little I have to do to maintain that love.’  So it’s not all about me, it’s about receiving from a very generous God”

-Janet Eisner, SND

Some incredible wisdom from three amazing women! I want to thank them for their beautiful and inspiring examples of authenticity and courage.

What Does Love Demand?

Gretchen van Dyck-Daggett, M.A.

 

 

What does "love" demand, I ask?

 

To give, and give, and give some more?

 

To forgive, and forgive, and forgive some more?

 

 

Who urges me to be more "compassionate"?

 

Is this demanding love from within me,

 

Or is it from some higher power beyond me?

 

 

Is it one more huge, heavy commitment 

Of my time and effort, 

Of my whole body, heart and soul?

 

 

Is it one more burden to weigh me down, 

Put on my 'to do' list, 

Slog through it, get it over with?

 

 

Or, could it be something kinder, 

Something softer, gentler 

Something I can gain from, just not give to?

 Are we talking about my love for you,

 

Or love of my work, for the earth,

 

Or love for my peers, for all beings?

 

What if, just what if…the lens shifts.

Instead of a burden, could this possibility

Be a glorious grace-filled gift?

 

Perhaps…just perhaps

There is a higher LOVE

That is perfect and complete unto itself.

 

A LOVE so powerful and pure and beautiful

That I can tap into it and allow it

To flow into me and through me.

 

What if I will continue to receive

More and more of this generous LOVE

The more I offer it from my heart?

 

Then I am filled with a joy so great

That I am happy to spread love

To all and everyone and everything.

 

I will lose nothing

I will gain everything

I will never be empty

There will always be enough.

 

 

And I will glow with

 

The undying flame

 

In my soul

 

Forever.

 

................................................................................

Gretchen van Dyck-Daggett is a Sacred Threads participant and the Co-founder of ILLUMINATION.