Sacred Threads participant and Author Catherine Brunellhas published her first book this fall. Becoming Catholic, Again - Connecting the Faith We Were Taught with the Faith We Live (Chicago: Loyola Press, 2012).
In her passionate voice, Brunell writes about the permission she found
to be on the spiritual journey that her life is revealing. In the
memoir she attends to the details of her own path but, in doing so
Brunell offers all of us a gentle way of living in and through our
faith. Here are two excerpts from the book :
When
I hear people ask the question "Are you Catholic" they often respond,
"I'm sort of Catholic," or "Not a practicing one." People have
disengage from the institution, and yet on some level, we have a nagging
connection to it. We judge ourselves based on others' rubrics of how
our faith should look, and in doing so we remove ourselves from the only
experience that we can actually have. The judgement is a waste of
time, because God doesn't care what kind of Catholics (or any religion
for that matter we are); God wants us to be connected to one another and
to God. If we find these connections, we're simply being Catholic in
the way that we need to be. pg. 10
***
I
really have no idea about everything the divine entails and what
exactly religion should be. I also don't know what will happen as I come
to the end of my life or what the church will look like in a hundred
years. But I do know how to respond to the grace that moves in my life
today. I try to keep my faith this simple, because ultimately this is
what puts me in relationship with an incarnate God. When I say yes to
what is before me in life, I know that I am saying yes to the sacred
that is there, too. God is in the concrete, and concrete life is in God
p. 85.
“We
own what we build, but as human beings, we are also built, not
primarily by government but by institutions that shape our character.
Responsible self-governing citizens … are cultivated in families,
religious institutions and orderly hopeful neighborhoods and government
has a limited but important role in creating an atmosphere where
community can flourish.” — Michael Gerson.
The
older I get, the more disgusted I am with the petty pursuits of
political parties in an election year. Democrats claim Republicans are
waging a “war on women” while Republicans rage against “ObamaCare,”
ignoring domestic and foreign challenges that require compromise, not
sound bites.
Thanks
to fact-checking organizations, discerning voters know that both
parties stretch the truth in election years. Only rabid Republicans and
diehard Democrats can listen to campaign ads filled with lies and
exaggerations and feel justified by their own prejudices.
When
I heard about a lecture series at Gordon College with Michael Gerson
talking about “The role of citizens, government and civil society” in
the Science Center on Sept. 13 and “Three Responses to Suffering” in the
Chapel on Sept. 14, I attended both lectures, eager for mature
political commentary. (Note: Both talks are available at www.youtube.com/user/GordonCollege.)
As
a PBS Newshour fan, I’ve enjoyed discussions between Republicans and
Democrats, usually David Brooks and Mark Shields, but occasionally other
pundits, including Gerson. All of them are able to disagree without
demonizing their opponents, a rare trait in both parties these days.
Michael
Gerson was the head speech writer and a senior policy advisor to
President George W. Bush and is a leading conservative voice on the
national media stage, writing about politics, religion, foreign policy
and global health and development twice a week in the Washington Post.
He
is a moderate Republican and like a moderate Democrat, doesn’t fit into
“Tea Party” or “Occupy Wall Street” positions and I was impressed by
his comments on the topic question, “Whose responsibility is
opportunity?
He
said the good news is that we’re finally having a debate, but it’s a
shallow debate between “two destructive mindsets” – Republicans talking
about “a contest between the makers and takers” and Democrats viewing
“every political decision as a choice between radical individualism and a
federal program.”
According
to Gerson, opportunity should be “a shared national goal … a social
achievement for which all of us are responsible in one way or another.”
Instead Republicans talk about economic freedom and Democrats want the
wealthy to pay more.
Gerson
believes we need government in order to make a decent provision for the
helpless, stating that a third of American workers are unprepared “due
to circumstances of birth…a massive disadvantage to those who did
nothing to deserve it.”
After the first lecture, I read Gerson’s Sept. 13 column in the Washington Post and respected his insights:
“During
a presidential election in which both campaigns seem mainly intent on
turning out their most ideologically typical voters — through the
endless application of construction metaphors (“We did build that!”) or
abortion applause lines on demand — it is worth recalling that
candidates have not always run and won in this way.”
He
mentioned two campaign speeches, Bill Clinton’s “New Covenant” address
in 1991 and George W. Bush’s “Duty of Hope” speech in 1999,
distinguishing them from current political rhetoric because both
candidates challenged their own parties:
“Clinton
pressed for reform of welfare, which should be ‘a second chance, not a
way of life’ and criticized racial quotas, saying, ‘I’m not for a
guarantee for anybody. I’m for responsibility at every turn.’ And while
urging corporate responsibility, he also defended corporate profits. Bush
was even more explicit in his criticism of generic Republicanism. ‘The
American government is not the enemy of the American people … At times
it is wasteful and grasping. But we must correct it, not disdain it. ... It must act in the common good, and that good is not common until it is shared by those in need.”
Michael Gerson is a breath of fresh air in an election year that has debased both parties.
~ by Eileen Ford, Rockport resident and regular Times columnist From the October 4, 2012 issue of the Gloucester Daily Times
As we complete Mental Illness Awareness Week (October 7-13), and prepare for the Sacred Threads Event on October 17th w/ Dr. Nancy Kehoe on "The Journey to Wholeness" we wanted to share this prayer:
Loving Creator, we
come to you on this National Day of Prayer for Mental Illness
Recovery and
Understanding because we know that you are a God of love and
compassion.
We come as people of
all creeds and all nations seeking your presence, comfort and guidance. We come
as individuals living with mental illness, family members, friends, co-workers
and mental health professionals.
We come this day because we believe that you,
Divine One, love each one of us just as we are. You walk with us on our
individual journeys through life. You see the ignorance and injustice that
divide and separate persons living with mental illness and you weep with us.
Give us courage to
face our challenges and open us today to the many ways you are
already working in
our midst. Help us to identify mental illness as the disease it is, that
we might have courage
and wisdom in the face of ignorance and stigma. Inspire us as we
seek to overcome
fear, acquire knowledge and advocate for compassionate and
enlightened treatment
and services.
Lead us as we open
our hearts and homes, our communities and job opportunities, our
houses of worship and
communities of faith. Enable us to find ways to include persons
living with mental
illness in our everyday lives. Be with doctors, therapists, researchers,
social workers and
all those in the helping professions as they seek to overcome
ignorance and
injustice with care and compassion.
Sometimes, Divine
Spirit, we feel discouraged and hopeless in the face of so many
challenges. Help us
to see ourselves as you see us—persons of value and worth, persons
of creativity and
potential.
May we come to
understand the interconnectedness of mind, body and spirit in bringing about
health and wholeness. And may we go forward into our communities with a renewed
sense of vision, hope and possibility for the future .Amen.
As another month comes to a close, and the world continues to be more and more chaotic (there was a 3.4 earthquake in Dallas, Texas of all places last night!) maybe we could stand at the door of October and say to our Creator...
Thank you for this day.
Thank you for this new month.
Thank you for all that may or may not happen.
But most of all,
Thank you for the gift of life.
The unpredictable, unexplainable, unimaginable gift of life.
God ran away when we imprisoned her and put her in a box named Church. God would have none of our labels and our limitations and she said:
"I will escape and paint myself in a simpler, poorer soil where those who see, will see, and those who hear, will hear. I will become a God- believable, because I am free, and go where I will. My goodness will be found in my freedom and that freedom I offer to all- regardless of color, sex or status, regardless of power or money. Ah, I am God because I am free, and all those who would be free will find me, roaming, wandering, singing. Come, walk with me- come, dance with me! I created you to sing- to dance- to love..."
If you cannot sing, nor dance, nor love, because they put you also in a box, know that your God broke free and ran away.
So, send your Spirit then, to dance with Her.
Dance, sing with the God whom they cannot tame or chain.
Dance within, though they chain your very guts to the great stone walls...
Dance, beloved, Ah, Dance!
~Edwina Gateley
Sacred Threads will be welcoming Edwina May 3rd- so mark your calendars!
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Join us...this conversation needs to be had. We look forward to your presence and your insights.
We are thrilled to offer our latest program for all moms (or those who want to hear the great stories of a mom) who recognize the ups and downs of the spiritual journey we call parenthood. Hope to see you May 7th!
When spring arrives, everything in the natural world changes. Some of us really suffer with those changes (helloooo allergies!), but some of us feel like we are shedding off that heavy skin of winter and can finally breathe a little deeper. That change FEELS good.
Sacred Threads has been undergoing some change, too. And while we aren't changing the core of who we are or what our purpose is, we did realize that change brings forth an opportunity to see ourselves in a new light. Our website (www.sacredthreadscenter.org) is getting a facelift, so stay tuned!
In the meantime, may the spirit of change allow you to find a "new face"- perhaps the one you've always wanted to put out in the world- and finally embrace it fully.
During a spirited lunch conversation after the Sacred Threads Forgiveness Reflection on March 10, I opened my fortune cookie at the end of the meal and the fortune read, “It is more difficult to judge oneself than to judge others.” I couldn’t believe how appropriate it was! It made me think about how much more difficult it is to forgive oneself than to forgive others, a theme that came up over and over again earlier that day, and it got me thinking.
When we talk about forgiveness, we usually talk about forgiving someone else. There surely are terrible acts that people perpetrate on each other and most of the time forgiveness involves acknowledging those acts and “saying” we forgive them. But, do we really? It’s been my experience that most of the time we still hold on to at least some of our grievances, albeit they may be buried in some rarely explored place in our consciousness, and that part we haven’t forgiven festers within, even though we may be completely unaware of it. It doesn’t matter how large or small the supposedly egregious act is either. No matter the severity of the act, harboring the grievance has the same impact on me. My peace is disturbed.
I’ve held on to grievances long after the “act” that required my forgiveness has taken place. Here’s a perfect example.
When our daughter was three years old, we went to a local restaurant for dinner. To keep her amused while waiting for our food (you know 3 year olds) we played a game with the sugar packets that were on the table, taking them out and putting them back in the holder while counting each one and quietly cheering a job well done. After a few minutes of this innocent activity, the restaurant owner came to our table in a huff, grabbed the packets and holder out of her hands and said in a loud and angry voice, “These are not for playing with!” He stormed away, leaving us shocked, and our daughter in tears. We vowed NEVER to go back to that restaurant again, and we were good to our word, avoiding it for ten years. TEN YEARS! Not only that, every time we passed that restaurant, we brought up that old grievance we held toward the owner. It’s hard to believe that we carried that grievance into our daughter’s teen years until we finally realized that we had to let it go and forgive it.
What was it this restaurant owner had triggered in us? For me, I now realize it was his imposing nature, acting without asking, and his ripping the sugar packs out of my daughter’s hand was, without my immediate awareness, re-living my family of origin dynamic. After harboring that grievance for so many years, I came to realize that this was not a personal attack on my daughter or our family, but likely his own frustration or anger about something, probably totally unrelated, that was projected onto that situation with us.
Over time I have come to see forgiveness as a process, much like a ladder one slowly and carefully climbs. On the first rung, are the “acts” of forgiveness, i.e. my daily dealings in the world, the moment to moment grievances in which I forgive others for what I perceive they have done to me, or forgive them for what they have not done to meet my expectations.
The second rung of the forgiveness ladder is a bit more difficult. It’s when I’ve begun to realize that I’m never upset for the reason I think. At this point, I’m coming to understand that my forgiveness may have little to do with someone else and more to do with what is in my mind and my perceptions. For “true” forgiveness to occur, I need a perceptual shift, which moves me from the act of forgiveness to an attitude of forgiveness.
Ultimately, the attitude of forgiveness takes us to the third rung of the forgiveness ladder, which is a change of mind or a shift in perception. Do I see the restaurant owner’s behavior as an attack on me, or my child, or was it a cry for help? Changing your mind is not an easy thing to do when you’re in the midst of the battle, that’s why it takes time to work up to it. I have discovered that most of the hurts I feel from others are by-products of their own suffering; however I choose to interpret their actions, my actions are sure to follow based on my own perception of those actions.
In his book, Beyond the Dream, Dr. Thomas Hora, founder of Existential Metapsychiatry, discusses that a healthy response to a misdeed (our grievances) is comprised of a three step process: RECOGNIZE, REGRET, REORIENT. The process is a helpful way to deal with grievances, helping to free us from them and more consistently have an attitude of forgiveness.
STEP 1: RECOGNITION:
Our unconscious grievances “own” us and bring the past into our present until we bring them to light. Before we can forget or let go of something, we have to remember it. Recognition entails bringing the darkness to light and understanding the meaning of our suffering, not why we are suffering.
STEP 2: REGRET:
Once we bring the darkness to light and recognize the problem, we can then regret our words, thoughts or actions. In this step, we see those actions or thoughts not as a sin to be punished, but a mistake to be corrected.
STEP 3: REORIENTATION:
Now, we can choose to look at the situation differently and stop blaming ourselves, and others. We can look at the situation without blame or guilt and face future similar situations with the understanding we have gained from this process.
Three simple steps, but our human tendencies make it difficult, not only to follow them and forgive others, but particularly to forgive ourselves. As the fortune cookie reminded me, “It is more difficult to judge oneself than to judge others.” We ARE much harder on ourselves than we are on others. Carl Jung said, “Acceptance of oneself is the essence of the moral problem and the acid test of one’s whole outlook on life.” He reminds us that we stand in “need of the alms of our own kindness” and that we ourselves are “the enemy who must be loved.” We can find that love, if we remember that we are spiritual beings, connected to a Divine Reality, and that forgiveness has already been given us. Then, perhaps we can be gentler with ourselves, so we may see how forgiveness leads us to the highest form of Love.
Insights and Outbursts: Looking back on the friend in the mirror
Insights and Outbursts Eileen Ford
—
"Some people can make you feel better just by entering a room — and others just by leaving."
— "The friend in your mirror: A search for self-discovery" (Edward Cunningham, 1975)
I'm amazed at the way a little Hallmark book I read almost 40 years ago still fascinates me with its common-sense spirituality and wisdom.
I bought it as a gift, intrigued by the title, and liked it so much that I copied it before giving it away.
The book starts with an invitation: "Speak gently to yourself. Speak freely in praise of all you are. Speak clearly with pride in all you've been. Speak bravely with hope for all you may become. Find in yourself the powers that only you can overcome, the promises that only you can keep."
It then takes you back to your childhood, urging you to "Look deeply into the mirror of your life and discover the very special person that only you can be ... Try to recapture those greening days of newborn dreams and desires, fears and first-times ... What were the scenes of your greatest joys ... your deepest sadnesses? "What were the events that touched you most profoundly — the experiences that helped to shape the patterns of your mind?"
I understand now what a therapeutic experience that book was and share it freely with friends and acquaintances in the hope that it will encourage others to appreciate the "friend" in their mirrors.
Friendship has always been important in my life, as a child and teenager in New York City, a young adult in the Air Force in Texas and Mississippi, the years I spent as a police officer, attending college in New York and at the FBI National Academy in Quantico, Va., early retirement to enter the Congregation of the Cenacle, and after leaving the novitiate, living in Boston for five years, driving a cab during the day and attending graduate school at Northeastern University at night, working as a Park Ranger in the Charlestown Navy Yard, and moving to Rockport in 1986.
As I look back on my life, I am filled with gratitude for all of it, thankful for all the people who enriched my life, including the ones I didn't always appreciate at the time.
As the Hallmark book puts it, "Speak honestly to yourself of people you know, recalling the kind ones who taught you lessons in love, the thoughtless ones who made you feel the bitterness of their own self-doubt ... and the very human ones who may have done both ... You choose to say "yes!" to the joys of the past, but "no!" to the sadness ... to cherish the gifts of kindness that can never be forgotten and let go of the hurts that can never be forgiven ... to let the laughter keep echoing in your heart, but once and for all, to dry the tears."
That wisdom helped me realize that the most painful parts of life, the events I never would have chosen, were often a source of growth as I became conscious of strengths and weaknesses in myself that allow me to understand and forgive similar qualities in others.
"Speak proudly to yourself of lessons learned ... emerging from the world of memory into the world of here and now. Measure the distance between those two worlds by the treasures you've collected along the way...and by the burdens you've carried."
Some of the "treasures" I've collected along the way are friends, including Elderhostel pals, kindred spirits who enjoy outdoor activities as much as I do as well as the people I meet on spiritual retreats.
Whether I'm skiing down a mountain or sitting in silence in a chapel, I enjoy life now more than ever. The "burdens" were few and I survived, thanks to an unshakeable faith in a God who loves me unconditionally, as well as supportive family members and friends.
After reflecting on the past, the final paragraph takes us into the future: "So on you will grow ... encouraging your own achievements and improving them, counseling your own decisions and standing behind them .. always taking the time to speak gently to yourself with the patience, the kindness, the compassion of a close and trusted friend ... the friend in your mirror."
Used books are available at www.Amazon.com at reasonable prices, but I'm happy to share my typed 4-page on-line copy with anyone who e-mails me with subject line "Hallmark" at emford2002@yahoo.com.
Eileen Ford lives in Rockport and is a regular Times columnist. Courtesy of www.gloucestertimes.com
And while we may love the idea of warmer days...perhaps it's time to CLAIM the heart of winter.
Our LOVE and THANKS to Diane D'Souza who helped us claim it all well on January 28th. Check out her blog for what you missed, and the feedback should inspire you:
“Provoking, excellent—just what I was looking for!“
“Beautiful, thoughtful, inspiring…”
“Thoroughly enjoyed [Diane’s] presence, essence and way of leading.”
“Extremely relevant and wonderful way to connect to others I have yet to know.”
“Inspirational, [Diane is] a gentle presence and spirit.”
“The format was wonderful, participants voices were encouraged and the thoughts expanded.”
“Coming from an Eastern perspective Diane has a lot more to teach us.”
“Insightful.”
"As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives."
Here's a few things we resolve to do in this new year:
Expand our audience
Connect among our interfaith sisters and brothers
Promote the Center in wider circles
Sacred Threads is off to a terrific start by ringing in the new year with 3 amazing programs to come. JOIN us Saturday, Jan 28th for a mini-retreat with Diane D'Souza. We can't wait!
