Before a dear friend invited me to
hear her speak, I had never heard of Joan Chittister. A few days after accepting
the invitation, my friend and I attended the book release for her recently
published biography. In what seemed like a few short minutes, I had the
opportunity to listen to her discuss the biography with its author, Tom
Roberts. There were a number of striking aspects of their discussion, including
Joan’s remarkable humility with regards to the existence of the biography.
Perhaps the most intriguing and for me, life-giving, part of their conversation
was about how the biography came to be. Initially, Tom had come to Joan with
the hopes of asking a few brief questions about her life so that he could
“freshen up the files.” Tom was so enthralled with her story that he continued
to ask questions out of sheer interest. As he continued, the questions grew
deeper.
Joan recalled that there came a
point in their interaction when the questions begged such depth and
vulnerability in their answers that she had to request a pause in the interview.
She revealed that in interviews past, she had skirted around genuine responses or
produced formulated generic answers. She described what it was like to come to
this point: to choose to be vulnerable and lay out her entire life for all to read
or to stick to the chronically scripted answers of her past. It was the
crossroads between self-emptying vulnerability and complacently scripted safety.
After an intense and tumultuous period of contemplation, Joan decided that although
it may be painful, she would respond with vulnerability, revealing the most hidden
and tender parts of her past. And the beautiful book that is Joan Chittister: Her Journey from Certainty
to Faith was the result.
Joan’s exposition of this critical
crossroads is intimately connected with one of the primary questions that she
raised for me during our time together. That is, how do we answer questions of
the identity of the Church? Joan opened my eyes to the fact that it is with her
same courageous and terrifying vulnerability that we must approach our identity
of who we are as the Catholic Church. If the Church were to be interviewed
about her past and present identity, how would she answer? Who are we as the
Church? Moreover, what does our identity
as the Church communicate about the identity of our God?
In my sixteen-plus years of
Catholic education, I have come to understand that God is all-loving. God is infinitely
merciful. God is self-emptying, humble love for the whole of humanity. Are
these characteristics of God communicated in the identity and actions of our
Church? Unfortunately, I think the answers to this question would vary greatly
both within and outside of the Church. Although some of the answers may be
painful, this question is not only important, it is absolutely critical for the
life of the Church. Joan’s action in choosing self-emptying vulnerability is a
beautiful reflection of the actions of Christ on the cross. On the cross,
Christ intimately revealed the depths of His identity, exposing Himself in
worldly weakness to all of humanity. Thus, the Church is also called to expose
itself in self-emptying vulnerability, such that she comes to mirror the
endless and unconditional inclusivity and love of Christ.
Prior to hearing her speak, I had
not even heard of Joan Chittister. Now not only have I heard of her, I hear her. Her words are alive within me.
Her words burn me as I realize that the face of the Catholic Church has not and
does not always reflect the face of the all-loving God that it has set out to
represent. And this painful burn ignites my soul, my mind, my heart. As a
member of the Church, Joan has reminded me of my fundamental duty to ask the
hard questions about our identity, to give the painful answers of the past
and/or present, and most importantly, to dedicate myself in self-emptying
passion and love to the creation of the portrait of the future.
Maddie Jarrett
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