Something To Think About While The Turkey’s In the Oven

  

            “Whenever you tell me about someone, you tell me what they cook!” My then-new roommate’s exasperated tone clearly suggested that this was not a good thing.  It was the 1970s, and women were supposed to be getting out of the kitchen! Our friendship didn’t last, but I still remember her words. Without meaning to, she pointed me toward what’s really going on in the kitchen.

            My personal company of saints gathers around me when I cook. I think of Jean when I pull the fat white cookbook off the shelf. I remember Steve when I grind oregano between my palms, and Joe when I push the pot of red sauce to the back of the stove until suppertime.  Apple muffins remind me of Madeleine, and breaking eggs of Margaret, who could scramble two or two dozen with equal aplomb.

            As surely as they guided me from Skidrow Stroganoff to Roast Turkey With All The Trimmings, my kitchen friends have taught me deeper lessons. Trying new things leads to some successes, some failures, and always a story to tell.  Taking care with the littlest things can make the biggest differences. There is always enough to share and room for one more. Food for the body also comforts and sustains the soul. Cleaning up after yourself is part of the process.

            Not a few Thanksgiving sermons will mention the religious significance of gathering around a common table and sharing a meal. But before sitting down, look around your kitchen.  Among the utensils, pots and memories, very good things are happening. Wisdom and grace are found there.

BJ Brown

November, 2014

The Edge

           I realized this past week that I have never lived at subsistence level.  I know what it means now.

            As part of Family Services Coalition, a group of churches and non-profits in the Metrowest area, I  tutor a young mother in English twice a week.  She is homeless, lives in one room at an old motel with her four-month-old baby girl. Massachusetts is a "right-to-shelter" state, unlike many others, so homeless families do not have to live on the streets.  They have a room paid for by the state, some food stamps plus occasional access to a food pantry, and some aid from a state agency for women, infants, and children (WIC).  My student has a dorm refrigerator and microwave in her room, some clothes for her and her child, and a donated baby carriage that makes it possible for her to walk to stores, the bus station, and sometimes just to be out of her room and enjoy the weather. 

            On one of the Indian Summer days we had recently, she was out getting groceries and baby formula.  She stopped at a clothing store in a strip mall and used a fitting room to change her daughter's diaper and put her in lighter clothes.  Then she headed for the nearby "big box" store where she knew formula was cheapest.  When she realized she'd left her tote bag in the fitting room, she hurried back.  The bag was at the cashier's station, everything of any value stolen from it. Food stamps, a grocery store gift card for $25, her hard-to-get WIC ID card, and $100 in cash, all gone.  Mid-month, nothing coming in for more than two weeks.

 

            The following day when she told me about the theft, I could see the fear in her eyes.  "I so sad, I no sleep the night,"  she said.  "The baby----she feel how I feel, she so sad, no sleep."  Once again, she had been reduced to nothing.

            After class I okayed  the expenditure with our Coalition chairwoman, then bought three cans of Enfamil and another grocery gift card and left them for her at the motel desk.  When she called that night to thank me, her voice broke and she started to cry.  I was across town, too far away to put my arms around her.

            E. B. G.

Secret Threads

What if we thought of women

as the secret threads of this world?

 

We are, after all, no further ahead

of war, and are behind the notion

 

That hearts and minds can be won over.

We are, after all, the threads

 

Which birth and nurture soldiers in this world.

We are, after all, the threads

 

Which nurture peacemakers in this world.

What if we thought of women

 

As the secret threads of this world?

Secret threads, that when brought together

 

To say enough is enough to human violence,

women would create a blanket of safety

 

And comfort, nourishment, and a sense of being home.

Oh, to nurture such a question!

 

From Above and Below by C. A. Willett

 

 

On Balancing our Many Lives

Although we don’t all live in the public eye, I think we all have private and public lives, even many different lives that we show to different publics. There’s the ‘game face’ shown at work. There’s the life shared to different degrees with outer and inner circles of neighbors and friends. There’s the many roles we play in families: child, sibling, spouse, parent, grandparent, to name but a few.

 

 

Distance and tension easily creep in between our public and private selves. We edit the life we display on social media. We may hide aspects of our lives from a difficult employer or member of the family. The face we acknowledge in the mirror may not even be our most private self, if we cannot accept ourselves, warts and all.

 

 

Balancing our many lives can feel like a circus act, like a juggler racing to keep all the plates spinning or all the balls in the air. More helpful, I think, is the metaphor of harmony, among colors in a painting or notes in a piece of music. The challenge of harmony is not to accept some of my lives and reject others, but to find a place for all, however bold, shadowy, discordant or clear.

 

 

 

BJ Brown

October, 2014

3 Awesome Quotes About Living with Integrity

by Rebecca Krzmarzick

 

 

This past Saturday, Sacred Threads hosted the first part of our Speaker Series: “Living with Integrity: Balancing the Private and Public Dimensions of Our Lives.” As an intern this year with Sacred Threads, I had the joy of attending, and I'm so glad I did!

The event featured three incredible speakers:

·         Sr. Janet Eisner, SND, the Nation’s Longest Serving Woman College President

·         Lisa Hughes, Emmy Award Winning Journalist and News Anchor

·         Marian Ryan, the District Attorney of Middlesex County (and only female DA in Massachusetts)

These three women spoke eloquently about the joys and challenges of balancing the private and public dimensions of life. They spoke about the importance of being your beautiful and authentic self, and the spirituality that enables that.

Here are my three favorite quotes from the day:

 

“I became far less afraid to show a little vulnerability. And let’s face it- that is what connects us to people. When someone reveals that part of herself to you, that’s what makes you feel connected. Although it feels a little risky, and it comes back to that slight fear of judgment. I feel like that’s part of  what it means to be authentic and to honor that sense of spirituality that calls you to just be yourself and know that that is enough.”

-Lisa Hughes

 

“Having that real sense of yourself is what makes the difference. It’s having that ability, which I think we’ve all lost to some extent... It’s important to know who you are and not be uncertain about expressing who that is.”

-Marian Ryan

“God’s goodness and love embrace us, and it happens to all of us. So right now, this is my mantra: ‘Let me know how much you love me and how little I have to do to maintain that love.’  So it’s not all about me, it’s about receiving from a very generous God”

-Janet Eisner, SND

Some incredible wisdom from three amazing women! I want to thank them for their beautiful and inspiring examples of authenticity and courage.

What Does Love Demand?

Gretchen van Dyck-Daggett, M.A.

 

 

What does "love" demand, I ask?

 

To give, and give, and give some more?

 

To forgive, and forgive, and forgive some more?

 

 

Who urges me to be more "compassionate"?

 

Is this demanding love from within me,

 

Or is it from some higher power beyond me?

 

 

Is it one more huge, heavy commitment 

Of my time and effort, 

Of my whole body, heart and soul?

 

 

Is it one more burden to weigh me down, 

Put on my 'to do' list, 

Slog through it, get it over with?

 

 

Or, could it be something kinder, 

Something softer, gentler 

Something I can gain from, just not give to?

 Are we talking about my love for you,

 

Or love of my work, for the earth,

 

Or love for my peers, for all beings?

 

What if, just what if…the lens shifts.

Instead of a burden, could this possibility

Be a glorious grace-filled gift?

 

Perhaps…just perhaps

There is a higher LOVE

That is perfect and complete unto itself.

 

A LOVE so powerful and pure and beautiful

That I can tap into it and allow it

To flow into me and through me.

 

What if I will continue to receive

More and more of this generous LOVE

The more I offer it from my heart?

 

Then I am filled with a joy so great

That I am happy to spread love

To all and everyone and everything.

 

I will lose nothing

I will gain everything

I will never be empty

There will always be enough.

 

 

And I will glow with

 

The undying flame

 

In my soul

 

Forever.

 

................................................................................

Gretchen van Dyck-Daggett is a Sacred Threads participant and the Co-founder of ILLUMINATION.

Where is Your Chapel?

by Guest Writer

“Outside, inside, I am everywhere: beyond you, within you, beside you, above you, below you, around you. There is nowhere that I am not. Be at home in me.” –Margaret Silf, One Hundred More Wisdom Stories

 

               In “One Hundred More Wisdom Stories,” Margaret Silf tells the story of the Island Chapel. In the story, a group of islanders build a chapel where they can worship the creator of their beautiful island. Once inside, however, the islanders are deeply disappointed. They realize that they can no longer experience the beautiful sights and sounds of the island, through which they typically encounter the presence of the creator spirit. Only one girl visits the chapel every day. When asked why she does this, she answers: “if I listen carefully to the deep stillness there in the chapel, I hear the wind and the waves, the seagulls and the trees, right inside my heart, where they can never fade or die, and the creator spirit invites me to take a walk inside my soul.”

                I recently had the pleasure of participating in a Women’s Circle, a gathering of wonderful women who meet monthly for fellowship, conversation, and spiritual reflection.  These were women with very busy lives and many responsibilities, from work, to study, to taking care of children. With everything going on, they took time out of their busy schedules to gather for an evening spent together in reflection.

                “Where is your chapel?” was a question posed to the group. Many beautiful answers were shared, from specific places of peace and quiet, to the safety and acceptance found in relationships, to activities that brought a sense of stillness and joy. It was in these places, people, and activities that these women were able to encounter the whispering of the spirit inside of themselves.

                Where is your chapel?

                While I had difficulty answering the question for myself, I felt moved by the amazing insights shared by each person in the group. I knew that for at least that night, I had found a chapel among a beautiful group of women, where I could encounter the spirit’s presence within myself.