Reflections on Grace

If you’ve lived in Boston for even a little while, and you own a car, chances are you’ve had the perilous experience of driving on the Jamaicaway, a road that was built long before every household had 2 cars and one of them was an SUV. Just getting on the Jamaicaway from any feeder road is an adventure, especially at rush hour. And having the fortitude to do that requires something of us that is not in great supply these days. Before I heard Liz Walker speak at Sacred Threads last Tuesday night, I would have said that what we need more of is patience. Lots of it.  But now, I know it requires something much greater than patience. It requires grace.

Liz Walker is a former WBZ-TV Boston anchor and award-winning journalist, who is now a minister and a preacher at the Roxbury Presbyterian Church.  When she began her Sacred Threads talk last Tuesday night by talking about the challenges of getting onto the Jamaicaway, I wondered what that had to do with grace. Of course, I KNEW what she was talking about; I used to live on the Jamaicaway where a regular sport was watching the daily accidents, yet I still wondered: “Why is she talking about THIS? Isn’t she supposed to be talking about grace?” And then, it hit me, how the challenge of getting onto, and driving on the Jamaicaway, is a perfect metaphor for discussing the topic of grace. Let me tell you why.

As Liz says, “the Jamaicaway is not a gracious road.” What getting on to it and driving on it does, however, is force you to find a place within you where grace exists and let that grace take over instead of all your instincts to push forward, edge out the cars around you, and drive in attack mode.   Anne Lamott says, “Grace is not something I DO, or can chase down; but it is something I can receive, when I stop trying to be in charge.”  To find grace in us, no matter what we are doing (like driving on the Jamaicaway), Walker tells us to do just that- to let go and stop trying to be in charge, so we can receive grace. Let the anxious drivers go ahead, stop trying to be first, and even bless them as they go. A tall order on your best day, but that’s what grace is all about.

Liz Walker will tell you she’s no saint and she still isn’t always able to be gracious. Few of us are. But, a powerful conversion experience opened her eyes to the need for grace in all of our lives. That happened on a series of trips to South Sudan with a group of Boston humanitarians. It was 2001 and she felt “called to do something else” other than TV news; she thought the trip to South Sudan would yield a good story and might just guide her on a new path.  It turned out to be much more than that. She went there to cover a story as a  “removed” journalist, but she left “touched by grace,” realizing a removed stance from the world’s stories was no longer acceptable for her. Walker says, the lessons she learned in South Sudan were all connected to grace, so she continued to visit there for eleven more years, each trip deepening her commitment to and appreciation of the power of grace in our lives.

On one such trip, the group’s luggage was lost. They were left with no tent, no food, no supplies, no water. Word about their misfortune quickly spread throughout the village and people started to arrive with “gifts” for them; brightly colored cloth to wear, hand hewed cots for sleeping, pots of goat to eat, and children brought sticks for them to brush their teeth. As Walker says of that experience, “the people in South Sudan had nothing, but they were willing to share everything. They had nothing materially, but everything relationally. In that moment I realized that although we came to save Africa, Africa saved us through God’s grace.”

Walker says she now understands that grace is much more than a prayer before meals or a disposition to be generous.  Grace says, “I need to lean on you and you need to lean on me.” It’s the kind of love reflected in Martin Luther King’s philosophy about love and forgiveness, and practicing it takes courage and risk. It’s like the Ubuntu concept of Bishop Desmond Tutu that says, “I can’t be my best unless you are your best.” It’s “I’m going to love you not because you love me back, but because you NEED love.” By their actions, the South Sudanese women showed her exactly what grace in action looks like and she wanted to take that with her and live it and reflect it in her work. 

Walker is fond of quoting Anne Lamott’s statement that, “Grace meets us wherever we are, but does not leave us where it found us.” Grace met Liz Walker long ago in Alabama, came with her to Boston, to television news, to the Harvard Divinity School, to South Sudan and now has taken her to Roxbury Presbyterian Church where she works each day to help break the cycle of violence, build relationships, and pray for forgiveness, grace and love, which, she says, “is not innate. It has to be learned and unless you have a model for it, you don’t know where to begin.” So, she’s trying to model it.

Back to the Jamaicaway, Liz says like most of us, she hasn’t mastered being in grace all the time yet. But, when attempting to enter that busy road, she tries to be conscious, patient and remember what the Sudanese women taught her- “that there is no us and them, only US.”

Frederich Buechner says, “The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.”  We are all glad that the deep hunger in Boston and South Sudan was the place where Liz Walker found her deep gladness, and she heeded God’s call. She is a passionate human being who has chosen to live her life as a testament to the powerful need we all have for grace in our lives. And, I for one am thankful.

  Pamela Econoply Woodnick

11.10.13

Dignity: Holding Us Together

Donna Hicks is a conflict- resolution specialist who has participated in some of the world’s most intractable conflicts such as: Israel-Palestine, Northern Ireland, Cambodia, US-Cuba. In one such situation in Cambodia, after hearing the painful stories of Khmer women who had been horribly violated under the countrywide genocide, she was struck by how they managed to be joyful with such painful memories from the past. Yet, they WERE joyful in the face of that past suffering, when they learned of their new rights under the new Cambodian constitution. She was profoundly moved. On reflection, she realized something that she had intuitively known for some time. That is, “ if indignity tears us apart, dignity can put us back together again.” At that point, she states, “Dignity became the lens through which I made sense of the world from that point on.”

Five minutes with Donna Hicks is all you need to realize she is “the real deal.” Yes she has five degrees, a Harvard Professorship, has worked with presidents of countries and partners on her Declare Dignity project with Desmond Tutu.  But judging her on those superficial facts would be, well, a violation of her dignity. It would not be seeing her, the engaging, flawed, brilliant, yet down to earth human being she is. And that’s what she’s trying to tell us in her book, Dignity: It’s Essential Role in Resolving Conflict.

I had the good fortune to attend a presentation by Donna Hicks at Regis College on 10.3.13 that was part of a speaker series called, “Threads of Inclusion: Recognizing the Sacred in our Lives Through Dignity, Grace and Justice.” The series is sponsored by Sacred Threads, an interfaith ministry whose purpose is to create meaningful dialogue through spiritual conversations, circles of reflection and programs of enrichment and growth. Professor Hicks’ presentation was just that: meaningful, spiritual, and enriching.

Hicks began by stating that, “Dignity is the highest and deepest point you can reach. It taps into the spiritual needs of us all, deep within our hearts, and allows the ‘holy’ to rise up.” She explains that through her work in international conflict resolution, she learned that there was always something deeper going on in those meetings than was reflected in the conversations. Something that was “under the table” but very present and quietly influencing every negotiation. She thought if she could put words to it, they would be things like, “How dare you treat me this way? Don’t you realize I’m a human being” and “Don’t you see how unfair this situation is?” Over time, it became clear to her that what she was feeling- what THEY were feeling, was about violations of their dignity. That revelation set her on a seven-year path that resulted in her book and is now the key influence for all her work .

What is dignity, as Hicks sees it? First, it’s different than respect, although many intertwine the two. Respect is earned, but dignity is a birthright. It is our inherent value and vulnerability. It’s not something that comes and goes. It is a piece of our DNA. It’s our internal barometer that indicates how we feel about ourselves, It’s invaluable, priceless, irreplaceable; it’s what gets upset when we are treated as if we don’t matter. Dignity wounds do not heal with time; we have to get them out so we can recognize them and heal them. As Hicks says, “Bottom line, dignity is what makes relationships work.”

So what can we do to be more aware of and live with greater dignity towards ourselves and each other? Hicks has developed 10 Elements of Dignity which include accepting others without prejudice or bias, recognizing and validating others for their talents and hard work, truly listening and validating other’s concerns, creating an environment of inclusiveness, putting people at ease on a physical and psychological level, treating others with equality, encouraging others to act on their own behalf, believing what others think matters, treating people as worthy of your trust, taking accountability for your actions and saying you’re sorry when you violate others. Sounds great. We all want to do it. But it’s not easy. Hicks herself acknowledges she is a “recovering dignity violator” and in truth, aren’t we all? Who among us hasn’t made an unkind remark, judged another unfairly, held back praise or given the ideas of others short shrift because we know we are right or just too busy to listen?

Hicks knows this all to well and names ten specific “Temptations” we face that cause us to violate our own dignity and the dignity of others. She reminds us to not let other’s bad behaviors determine our own. (“You think you can yell; I can yell louder.”) Don’t lie or cover up what you’ve done- own it and take responsibility when you’ve made a mistake or hurt someone. Don’t look externally and to others for validation of your self-worth; dignity is your birthright and no one can take that away. Don’t hang on to false security in situations when your dignity is being violated; stand up for yourself and take action. Look at yourself and examine if YOU are part of the problem, and listen to feedback from others that will help you grow. Don’t “blame and shame” others to deflect your own guilt, and don’t gossip! Being critical of or sharing private information about others who are not present is harmful, and undignified.

In the forward to her book, Bishop Desmond Tutu says of Hicks, “She has the gift, perhaps it is her vocation, of opening to our sight a world where those most basic of human needs - appreciation, recognition, and the feeling of inherent worth – may be attained by all.” While that world may be an idealized one, it’s a world I want to help create and live in. Donna Hicks has put into words for me and countless others, what a world filled with dignity can look like and gives us a roadmap for how to get there.

How fitting that Sacred Threads chose Professor Hicks to kick off this powerful speaker series. As Hicks reminds us, dignity is “the glue that connects us to each other.” Through her, Sacred Threads has provided us with a powerful reminder of how important it is to strengthen the bonds that dignity builds and in so doing, helps us to realize just how connected we all are.

~Pamela Econoply Woodnick

Women Who Make a Difference

Sr. Julia Heslin and Sr. Edna Clark (Sisters of Charity, Halifax) have been supporting a school in the barrio of San Cristobal in the Dominican Republic since 2007. They got involved because the founder, Debora Damiani, a native of the Dom. Rep. worked with Sr. Julia in Catholic Charities Head Start in Bushwick, Brooklyn.

Julia and Edna started by getting funding for shoes for the children so they could attend school. Then came the need for a computer classroom as soon as the school grew beyond elementary to high school. The building needed to expand with the growing enrollment so funding for third floor and new roof was the next project.

Working with the board and visiting the school has enriched them and allowed them to offer their expertise in educational administration, and experience God’s spirit at work one student at a time. Go to www.misiontupuedes.org to learn more and donate if you wish to continue the good work being done there. 

The Perfect Peach

This morning I ate a perfect peach, soft-skinned rose and gold, juicy, fragrant.  In the delight of the moment, I found myself giving thanks for the grower, picker, shipper, and purveyor of the peach and praying: may they be well, may they have plenty, may they feel satisfaction in their work, may they know peace.

            The prayer's Buddhist phrases rose in my heart unplanned, a sign I devoutly hope shows I'm growing in my understanding of Spirit.  In the past I might only have thought, "Thank you, God, for this beautiful fruit."  And such daily miracles do come from the All-Good, the All-Loving God.  But seldom directly.

            My spiritual search has shown that the Holy Mystery often blesses me through other people---those who produced the peach, who grew the tea I drank from a pottery mug made, shipped and sold by others.  We are connected in facile sound bites by Smart Phones, Twitter and Facebook.  But we are more deeply linked in a holy, mysterious, far-reaching web of interactions extending from the small place where we stand to the ever-expanding space beyond the stars.

            "Indra's Net" from the Rig Veda as described by Anne Adams says:

                        There is an endless net of threads throughout the universe...

                   At every crossing of the threads there is an individual.

                   And every individual is a crystal bead.

                   And every crystal bead reflects

                             not only the light from every

                             other crystal in the net

                             but also every other reflection

                             throughout the universe.*

May each and all be well.

            May each and all have plenty.

                        May each and all find meaning in work.

                                    May each and all know peace.

* Quoted in Turning to One Another by Margaret J. Wheatley, Berrett-Koehler Publishers, 2002

Submitted by B. Griffin

Triumphant Entrance

I can't recall a time when I walked into a room triumphantly.  Especially given all the criticism that would likely follow. Can't you hear it....

...Who does she think she is?

...What's so special about her?

I often wonder about the reception of Jesus as he approached Jerusalem on his journey from Galilee.  Many received him so well- shouts of joy and praise- but what about those who MUST have been asking themselves the same questions above.

Isn't that what being a believer is all about, though?  Holding oneself in high esteem because there is a deep inner knowing of value...LOVE...and purpose.  Jesus knew this, more profoundly than we can ever imagine.  So, I would hope we could take a page from this Palm Sunday.  Enter that room triumphantly (well, perhaps without all the pomp and circumstance) but with a deep inner knowing that we are good and created in and by Love.  And whatever lies ahead, we can handle it.

Freedom Rings

As Americans, perhaps we forget the privilege of freedom on a daily basis.  We have the ability to practice whatever faith tradition we like, where so many people across the globe do not.  As many of our Jewish and Christian friends prepare to celebrate the religious holidays of Passover and Easter respectively, we should take a moment to recognize and honor the message of freedom in each of these honored traditions!

Our Jewish sisters and brothers begin Passover at sunset of 3/25 which commemorates the story of the Exodus, where ancient Israelites were freed from slavery in Egypt.  Our Christian sisters and brothers honor the beginning of Holy Week with Palm Sunday on 3/24, which marks Jesus' triumphal entrance to Jerusalem and begins the journey to his eventual death on a cross.  Easter Sunday (3/31) is the celebration of Jesus' resurrection, which offers believers freedom from death by this promise of new life after death for all.

Let us ALL pause to let freedom ring.